Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. Mt. 16: 24-25
Letter of MDM
To Father John Merlini ,July 25, 1838
Glory to the Blood of Jesus Christ
It all came about through Mary most holy, to whom I kept commending myself, asking her to give me light. When I saw the crucifix, it was like a sweet arrow that was piercing my heart, and this happened to me several times, not only when I was praying but also when I was in the house doing something or other. At the sight of the crucifix I couldn’t hold back the tears, and I kept saying, “O my Jesus, if I lose You, it’s all over for me.” Then I felt myself being drawn very strongly to love Jesus, and at the same time, a fear of losing him.
One day I was seized by such fear more than usual, and I was shedding so many tears at the foot of the crucifix that I felt as if my heart were almost breaking. I prayed, and I kept telling him that I loved him very much and that I wanted him always to be with me. Then as I continued to shed tears and pray, all of a sudden I felt a deep recollection. Such a beautiful object was presented to my mind that it filled my heart with peace. I heard these words addressed to me, “Do not be afraid, because I will never abandon you.” What I saw has remained deep in my memory, and it is a consolation to me in my fears, and I remember also the words that I heard in my heart.
I also heard it being said to me that the graces given me were not just for me, but for the help of other souls. This happened to me after the mission of our Father. At first during those three months, I experienced only remorse of conscience, as I mentioned, and everything was turning into a great bitterness for me, but I didn’t know how it was happening. I felt keenly the realization that if I wanted to find calm for my troubled spirit, I needed to give myself to the service of God and to live a life marked by the cross, to become like Jesus crucified.
• Find time this week to meditate on the CROSS of Christ. Hold it in your hands and think about what you have experienced through Jesus…
Prayer: Jesus, make me worthy of your cross. Allow me to recognize the preciousness of the cross as Maria De Mattias did. Help me not to be afraid and not to distance myself from you and your cross. Amen!